Cruisin' (with a better attitude)

Ok. We’re beginning to get the hang of this cruising thing. No epiphanies here, just some simple lessons:

1) We have learned how not to stub our toes (or, alternatively, whack our heads against the closet door) when entering and exiting the one-step up bathroom in the middle of the night.

2) We now understand that as black as it gets in our windowless room, it does not automatically mean that it is 3 a.m. It could just as easily be high noon. So, whenever I wake up I check my watch just to be sure we’re not missing lunch. Our room is not really a badly appointed box; but, it is still a box. And, the insides of boxes are very, very dark.

3) We are learning the food can be quite good here. Last night: melon and prosciutto, lobster and shrimp, and a chocolate ganache. For lunch: shrimp and calamari fritters. Plus, the sushi bar is perfect for those all-important pre-dinner snacks. Gaack! I’m becoming one of those cruise types who eat 24 hours a day. Thank goodness we walk a good bit whether it’s around in dizzying circles on the ship’s roof-top track or on land, as we did today on our hike to Paradise Island.

4) We are finally learning to navigate around the 11 or 12 decks of this boat. The first day was a living, life-sized maze. I mean, really, how do you get from the Fantasia Lounge to the Ecstasy Dining Room?

5) Start drinking at 2 p.m.

6) And, last night, on Valentine’s Day, Lily and I danced at our dinner table (as, I am quick to add, many others did as well) as our hosts broke out in an impossibly atonal version of “Amore.”

Would we do this again? Absolutely not. Even, if it was, in fact, free? Let me put it this way, if I asked you whether you’d enjoy wearing shoes for 4 days that were a size too small -- for free! -- I suspect our answers would be remarkably similar. All I know is that three mornings from now, we will open our eyes and know with absolute certainty that the sun has risen.

Amen.