A Message From Paris

I confess I had my share of misgivings.  I mean, how could I not?  The daily drumbeat of concerning, if not scary, news about the Covid crisis, and in particular, the precautions we were all to  take, helped mold how we viewed life in these times.  At times, the physical awareness of surrounding potential threats has driven the narrative of our daily lives.  But, beyond that, the emotional  impact of this reality has been the most scarring.  While most of us have found paths to happiness and serenity, there is always the existential knock at the door to remind us of the dangers that we face.  For Lily and me these warnings were not just abstractions with both of us having suffered our own bouts with Covid.

So, when a return to Paris became not just a dream but a reality, all the glass is half empty instincts this period has imposed on me came to  the surface.  Could we get the delta variant again?  What about all the travel restrictions to France that seemed to change every seven minutes?  How certain can we be that we won't be facing a quarantine when we arrive killing the trip altogether?  How careful are Parisians being in their daily routines?  And, on and on and on.

I must be quick to say that Lily was less concerned than I was.  After all, as I have told many, Paris is the number one love in her life.  I like to think I'm in the top three, but Paris is el primo.  We have been coming here together every year (except last year), Lily for a month me for two weeks.  Inspired by her joyous year abroad here back in her college days, Paris is not just a desirable option, but an unnegotiable imperative.

And now we're here.  And, what an eye opener it has been!  No psychiatrist or therapist would have had a better shot at calming our fears than being here enmeshed in the Paris experience.  How do  I begin?

It would be unfair to start anywhere but with the people.  As always, when I'm sitting in a park or at a cafe, I can't help but notice the pleasure they are feeling.  Whether it's strolling with a spouse or friend or a scampering child or two, their smiles appear much more often than their frowns.  No one appears to be in a hurry.  At the Jardin du Luxembourg -- at least on this Sunday -- the manmade pond at its heart is once again ablaze with the little sailboats all captained by energetic kids running around its boundaries.  Even the resident ducks have had to alter their paths to avoid a collision with the boats.  In other words, there is that energy and buoyancy we so associate with this city.  On the weekends when the Jardin is quite full, the calm chatter I hear is like the music one might play to help a child sleep.  It obviously influences those laying back in their chairs either totally at peace and relaxed or outright dozing in the September sun.  

As if to certify the relaxing vibe here, I need not look any further than the pigeons.  Are they nervous?  Are they stressed?  Hell no!  They are so comfortable hanging around my feet as I sit in the park, literally inches from my toes, that their ease and their confidence makes me smile and echoes the positivity I see all around me.  Yes, I know they are looking for something edible, but they are so fearless and comfortable amid everyone's lounging that they are unwittingly encouraging you to feel  the same way.  As I experience this, I really do expect one or more of these guys to hop onto my knee and tilt its head looking at me as if to ask, "dude, where's my snack, s'il vous plait?"

Apart from here, it oftentimes is just the watching of the joyful interactions in the street markets with the wine guy, or the cheese guy or the fruit guy and their patrons.  Or the intoxicating aromas coming from the patisseries.  Amidst all  this, the street musicians give it all a lovely soundtrack.  And, the locals' attire?  Nothing has changed.  The wildly colorful tops and bottoms, the elegant footwear and, even in this warm weather, the occasional suaveness of the scarves.  Or, on Sunday mornings, it is hard not to smile at the glee and good humor of the folks at the base of Rue Moufftard who are gathering at the square to start dancing once the local street musician gets his instruments warmed up.

Walking the streets here and, in particular, walking seemingly within inches of folks dining at the endless array of outdoor cafes, has given me a refresher course in the endless tableau of tasty food options every one of which makes me ridiculously hungry.  The crepes, the croissants, the tapas, the beef tartare, the dumplings the chocolates, the gelato are all so close to me it is all I can do to not lean over and ask for a bite!  (Okay, okay I guess I should have eaten a bigger breakfast.  I get it.  But still...!)  Being in Paris means never having to worry about finding something for dinner.  The dilemma comes only when you have to choose that evening's culinary path.

To put this all another way, time feels like it's standing still here.  In a good way.  My fears have been calmed, my optimism has returned, and the cafe creme in front of me beckons.  As I sit here at a cafe off Boulevard Saint-Michel, my seat is just a few feet from a number of surging fountains whose calming sounds may lead my way to those I have just observed at the Jardin du Luxembourg in a comforting doze.

Bon soir!

The Beauty of Friendship

In the human experience, what is it we value most?  Family and the power of love come to mind at first blush, but as incredibly significant as these factors are, it seems that what follows closely behind is the experience of friendship.  With family, for better or for worse,  we are not really presented with a choice.  Our parents, siblings, cousins and grandparents are automatically entwined with our lives which is almost always a wonderful thing.  But, not always.  As they say, we don't get to choose our family.  But, friendship offers another path to happiness.  Part of the beauty of friendship is that we get to choose those who we want to call a friend.  So often what forms that bond is shared experience and perhaps a set of shared values.  And, what follows are those indelible moments of shared laughter, compassion and joy that helps enrich our lives like almost nothing else.  

I am happy to say that what I have described above is exactly what we have experienced with our dear friends, Janie and Gordy.  It started years ago when Lily and I were new to the Wild Dunes community and we were hoping to spread our wings to expand our social circle since when we moved down here we knew no one and had left behind a lifetime of family and friends.  We had joined the local yacht club -- even though we had no boat -- and looked for an opportunity to join the club on a sail down to Beaufort.  We reached out to the club to see if anyone would take us on with them and lo and behold we heard from Janie and Gordy and their friends Rick and Gail inviting us to ride with them aboard the Finlaggan, Janie and Gordy's boat.  Looking back, it seems like it didn't take more than twelve seconds on board to realize we were going to have a great time.  The laughter and good times started almost immediately as we learned about each other's lives as well as our strengths and foibles.  We knew we had made new friends.  Perfect.

We flash forward to a couple of years ago when the four of us and our dear friend, Maggie, ventured to the south coast of England where our shared experience there further strengthened the already strong bond that we had.  Through all our shared meals, our B&B stays, card games, and the sometime terror of navigating the crazily narrow roads of the countryside from the left side of the road, the trip proved to be a classic example of what friendship can provide: joy, laughter, important and unimportant conversations and, in the end, happiness.

Now, here we are in 2021 and Janie and Gordy have left the local scene.  They have decided to leave Wild Dunes and move to Greenville to simplify their lives and be closer to family.  A wonderful move for them, but one that created some sad moments for those of us staying here knowing that our friendship would take on a different tone, a new strategy.  A new challenge, you might say.  But, Lily and I have no doubts our bonds will stay as strong as they have ever been.

And, so it was only appropriate that in anticipation of their departure, we send them off in style with our wonderful friends, Mark and Becky, who have so clearly enjoyed their own introduction to Janie and Gordy and who have developed their own friendship with them as well.  It started  with a wonderful dinner at The Obstinate Daughter, seated at a round table -- perfect for a group conversation and shared laughs. I have a feeling the laughter may have been enhanced a bit by the steady flow of martinis, wine, beer, and designer cocktails.  But, that's just my opinion.

Best of all, though, was one final session of "Oh Hell" at Mark and Becky's house after dinner, a weekly tradition all of us had strongly embraced for some time.  For those of you unfamiliar with this tortuously funny card game, let's just say it is a game where the best strategies are often crushed, where bidding on the number of tricks you think you can take are often wildly inaccurate, and where certain plays are often accompanied by loud squeals of both delight and exasperation.  While I cannot solely attribute this to the whims of alcohol, it seems like every seven seconds someone is asking, "what did I bid??"  While we all strive to win, the joy lies in the comedy wrought by the all but certain ups and downs and the sardonic pleasure of seeing your playmates' miscalculations vividly on display.  It doesn't hurt that at the midpoint of each of these games we take a time out and dive into dessert which on this night -- courtesy of Mark  and Becky -- was a scrumptious homemade key lime pie featuring a crust that will surely be recommended for sainthood it was so good.  (Although, interestingly, it appears the pie was, in part, the product of a brain fart in which the pie was supposed to be cooked for 15 minutes but ended up cooking for twice that long since the oven timer -- which had been set for 15 minutes -- said the same thing 30 minutes later since neither Mark nor Becky had remembered to actually activate the damn thing.  But, I'm telling you, this proved to be perhaps one of the best, most tasty brain farts ever!)

Once seated again with cards in our hands, the laughs reached epic highs.  I use that last term somewhat on purpose since Lily was in a sort of  altered state herself.  Herbed up, some might say.  She had just returned from the bathroom where she had experienced one of those Japanese style bidet-like toilets that offer interesting alternatives to toilet paper.  You know, like the rocket-like streaming of water to parts underneath.  Well...Lily's description of this experience would have been achingly funny enough just listening to her words.  But, her words were laced with with so much of her own laughter coupled with the kind of tears that can only be produced by one's total immersion in the humor of their own story that the story telling experience morphed into one of the funniest moments in modern history.  Seriously.

This evening, with all its culinary and beverage delights plus the animated conversation and laughter plus the engagement in what has become one of our favorite games is what friends provide and magnify.  So wonderful to share this last evening in town with folks who enrich our lives.

We will see you soon, Janie and Gordy!  Keep the cards handy!